Ahhh the word NO…so easy to say and spell yet so hard to do! How many have this problem? Wether it comes to your kids, spouse, friend and or work?
I’ve slowly started learning what NO means and how it is OK to say it. Is not always a negative thing, it can actually save your life, your health, your relationship, your stress.
Repeat after me…thank you but NO….thank you but NO…thank you but NO
When it comes to kids, that’s kinda easy we say no to things that will hurt them, too much sugar, bad influences etc, but what about to friends, loved ones, your boss…how easy is it for you to say NO?
Saying NO should never make you feel guilty or selfish. Saying NO should show others that you are in control of your life. We as women, especially mothers we tend to forget to say no because we focus on our family’s, how we can help, provide and take care of. When saying NO could be the best thing for them, and you.
Lets start with friends, you will have friends that come and go, and you will have friends you love but know that being around them isn’t what your life and your mental health needs; so saying NO I can’t and don’t want to hang out is OK. Don’t feel bad, if you need explain why… i.e. your behavior isn’t something I want to be around, I love you and will be here for you when you need me but I can’t hangout with you. Just like we tell our kids, you are who you associate with. If they are truly your friend they will understand and hopefully make plans with you that is suitable for you and them.
Your work, you boss will continue to ask you to go above and beyond as long as you let them. and if it’s not leading to a higher pay or position then it’s not benefiting you or your family in any way. You need to have boundaries even with your employer. “I wish I could, but I am going to have to say NO because…” Make sure you boss understands why, don’t just say NO and walk away that = FIRED! At the same time know what truly is expected of you, when your review is and document how and when you went above and beyond. If you can’t say NO, make sure all your YES’S benefit you!
AHHH your spouse, significant other…how do you say NO? And I’m not just talking sexually…I’m talking when your spouse asks so much of you, you start to get taken advantage of. Relationships aren’t 50/50, but it should be 100/100. When you start to feel you never say NO, and they always say NO or I CAN’T etc…then your boundaries have been crossed and you aren’t being respected. Respect = Love and your partner should respect your boundries.
We all need boundaries, and there are people who will push your boundaries but you need to stand tall and firm. This is your wellbeing, your health and personally speaking…your stress…and stress CAN DO HARM IF NOT KILL!! There is a great book to help you in finding your boundries, where they come from and why you may not have any. I HIGHLY recommend this book!
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your
So remember it’s OK to say NO and it’s not selfish or mean. Its taking your life back and controlling what and who comes into your life. boundaries make us who we are, you need to find yourself again, I needed to find myself again. I will not feel guilty or selfish for telling someone NO. Its respect for yourself and if your loved ones, friends, boss have respect for you they will understand your NO!!
Repeat after me…its OK to say NO! ITS OK TO SAY NO!! ITS OK TO SAY NO!!
To end the blog, heres a little something fun..fun ways to say NO…from Justin Musk