Definition of Friendship: A relationship between friends
amity, camaraderie, friendliness, comradeship, companionship, fellowship, fellow feeling, closeness, affinity, rapport, understanding, harmony, unity; intimacy, mutual affection.
*a state of mutual trust and support between allied nations.
Definition of Acquaintance: a person one knows slightly, but who is not a close friend.
Definition of Loyalty: the state or quality of being loyal; faithfulness to commitments or obligations.
*Loyalty connotes sentiment and the feeling of devotion that one holds for one’s country, creed, family, friends, etc.
I mention these words because it seems like people have forgotten what they mean and forgot that the two of them go hand in hand.
Lets talk friendship, there are so many different levels of friendship, but seems these days people forget there is a difference between Friendship with loyalty and an acquaintance. Two different issues came across my life this past week and thought I would share them and share why I felt like I do and why the confusion of friendship, acquaintance and loyalty come into play.
First I want to say that I take pride in my friendships, I love them all, I treat them like family, siblings because I don’t have any . But I have learned over the years friendships die, burn out sometimes naturally from changing lives and sometimes from hurt and disappointment. I have friends I don’t see very often but we are in constant contact. I have some that I see on a regular basis. Then I have acquaintances, people who I choose to share parts of my life with but a relationship hasn’t been formed OR the friendship turned into an acquaintance.
Friend to Acquaintance = lack of communication, one-sided friendship, these are a few things that lead to this. And once this happens the relationship has changed.
I had this friend who I have known for well 25+ years, for a while we were very close but for the last couple years its been off. Little “Hi’s” on Facebook, but no real communication. This person wasn’t there for me during my divorce or when I went though a major health issue with my heart. They would come into town and I’d never hear from them. So to me the friendship had become and Acquaintance, but this person wanted to question my loyalty as a friend when I started dating a guy she had gone on two dates with months before. A big factor is I had no idea they had even dated until he let me know out of respect for me. I didn’t see an issue, her and I at this point were just acquaintances, there was no friendship, no lines had been crossed. When she asked if we were dating and I quote said “I guess you could say that” she then told me they dated too and that she was happy for me. Apparently that was a lie because she deleted both of us and sent him a not so nice message and sent us both a “loyalty” meme. If we were friends and I had known ahead of time they had dated I would not have moved my relationship with him further. However that’s not the case and I feel what this comes down to is jealousy. Maybe now she has realized what a great guy he is, or maybe she doesn’t want me to be happy either way in my eyes shes’ and acquaintance and not a friend. There was no loyalty broken.
This next test of loyalty and friendship hit me pretty hard, harder than I thought. I kinda saw it coming but never would have guessed it would bother me so much. This person was an acquaintance that turned into a friendship about 2 years ago. She was there for me and helped me repair my marriage, I confided in her personal information and details. When I decided to divorce she was there for my, even threw me a divorce party. She expressed her dislike for my ex, the kind of person he was and the things he had done. For a few months we hung out a lot and did a lot of drinking, I soon realized that all the drinking wasn’t good for me and I slowly stopped partying with her. I still valued our friendship, just couldn’t continue down that path. She was even understanding and there for me when I was bothered by an incident with my ex and a mutual friend. So I trusted her, thought she was a good friend even with a couple of others told me to “be careful”. Then I noticed that they were exchanging a few quick conversations on social media…ok they have mutual friends its bound to happen. But then she obviously overstated her “love” for his “now” single/divorced post on Facebook, this was my first clue I was no longer her friend, that what we had shared didn’t matter to her. Here’s where I feel her loyalty and friendship crossed the line when she chose to be “great friends” with him, and purposely hanging out with him. Makes me wonder what she has told him, was she the mole that would tell him things about me that he didn’t need to know? How long has this been going on and has or did it become physical? To me this is wrong on so many levels. Loyalty and Friendship completely broken and shattered.
Friendship and Loyalty…Acquaintance and Friendship…where’s the line? Two separate “friends” questioned my loyalty and my friendship this week. One told me I wasn’t loyal as a friend because I’m dating someone she did, the other broke loyalty and friendship by in lack of better terms “sided with the enemy” and became friends with my ex AFTER my divorce. I have not responded to messages or sent messages to either one. One I’m not going to fuel the fire and two the other would most likely fall on deaf ears. So instead I bring it to my blog 🙂
I would love to hear you thoughts on this. Let me know what you think and your definition of friendship and acquaintance and when that line of loyalty is crossed.
I will say I am very happy with where my life is and the road I am headed, I do have a handful of very trusting and loyal friends. I’m happy with the path my love life is taking, a new adventure awaits 🙂 and I do know my value and my worth. I will not let others actions define who I am as a person. I’m to old to play these games, and to wise to stay with dishonest people and be disrespected anymore.