Friendship

Definition of Friendship: A relationship between friends
amitycamaraderiefriendlinesscomradeshipcompanionshipfellowshipfellow                   feelingclosenessaffinityrapportunderstandingharmonyunityintimacy, mutual affection.
*a state of mutual trust and support between allied nations.
Definition of Acquaintance: a person one knows slightly, but who is not a close friend.
Definition of Loyalty: the state or quality of being loyal; faithfulness to commitments or obligations.
*Loyalty connotes sentiment and the feeling of devotion that one holds for one’s country, creed, family, friends, etc.

I mention these words because it seems like people have forgotten what they mean and forgot that the two of them go hand in hand.

Lets talk friendship, there are so many different levels of friendship, but seems these days people forget there is a difference between Friendship with loyalty and an acquaintance.  Two different issues came across my life this past week and thought I would share them and share why I felt like I do and why the confusion of friendship, acquaintance and loyalty come into play.

First I want to say that I take pride in my friendships, I love them all, I treat them like family, siblings because I don’t have any . But I have learned over the years friendships die, burn out sometimes naturally from changing lives and sometimes from hurt and disappointment. I have friends I don’t see very often but we are in constant contact. I have some that I see on a regular basis. Then I have acquaintances, people who I choose to share parts of my life with but a relationship hasn’t been formed OR the friendship turned into an acquaintance.

Friend to Acquaintance = lack of communication, one-sided friendship, these are a few things that lead to this. And once this happens the relationship has changed.

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I had this friend who I have known for well 25+ years, for a while we were very close but for the last couple years its been off. Little “Hi’s” on Facebook, but no real communication. This person wasn’t there for me during my divorce or when I went though a major health issue with my heart. They would come into town and I’d never hear from them. So to me the friendship had become and Acquaintance, but this person wanted to question my loyalty as a friend when I started dating a guy she had gone on two dates with months before. A big factor is I had no idea they had even dated until he let me know out of respect for me. I didn’t see an issue, her and I at this point were just acquaintances, there was no friendship, no lines had been crossed. When she asked if we were dating and I quote said “I guess you could say that” she then told me they dated too and that she was happy for me. Apparently that was a lie because she deleted both of us and sent him a not so nice message and sent us both a “loyalty” meme.  If we were friends and I had known ahead of time they had dated I would not have moved my relationship with him further. However that’s not the case and I feel what this comes down to is jealousy. Maybe now she has realized what a great guy he is, or maybe she doesn’t want me to be happy either way in my eyes shes’ and acquaintance and not a friend. There was no loyalty broken.

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This next test of loyalty and friendship hit me pretty hard, harder than I thought. I kinda saw it coming but never would have guessed it would bother me so much. This person was an acquaintance that turned into a friendship about 2 years ago. She was there for me and helped me repair my marriage, I confided in her personal information and details. When I decided to divorce she was there for my, even threw me a divorce party. She expressed her dislike for my ex, the kind of person he was and the things he had done. For a few months we hung out a lot and did a lot of drinking, I soon realized that all the drinking wasn’t good for me and I slowly stopped partying with her. I still valued our friendship, just couldn’t continue down that path. She was even understanding and there for me when I was bothered by an incident with my ex and a mutual friend. So I trusted her, thought she was a good friend even with a couple of others told me to “be careful”. Then I noticed that they were exchanging a few quick conversations on social media…ok they have mutual friends its bound to happen. But then she obviously overstated her “love” for his “now” single/divorced post on Facebook, this was my first clue I was no longer her friend, that what we had shared didn’t matter to her. Here’s where I feel her loyalty and friendship crossed the line when she chose to be “great friends” with him, and purposely hanging out with him. Makes me wonder what she has told him, was she the mole that would tell him things about me that he didn’t need to know? How long has this been going on and has or did it become physical? To me this is wrong on so many levels. Loyalty and Friendship completely broken  and shattered.
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Friendship and Loyalty…Acquaintance and Friendship…where’s the line? Two separate “friends” questioned my loyalty and my friendship this week. One told me I wasn’t loyal as a friend because I’m dating someone she did, the other broke loyalty and friendship by in lack of better terms “sided with the enemy” and became friends with my ex AFTER my divorce. I have not responded to messages or sent messages to either one. One I’m not going to fuel the fire and two the other would most likely fall on deaf ears. So instead I bring it to my blog 🙂

I would love to hear you thoughts on this. Let me know what you think and your definition of friendship and acquaintance and when that line of loyalty is crossed.

I will say I am very happy with where my life is and the road I am headed, I do have a handful of very trusting and loyal friends. I’m happy with the path my love life is taking, a new adventure awaits 🙂 and I do know my value and my worth. I will not let others actions define who I am as a person. I’m to old to play these games, and to wise to stay with dishonest people and be disrespected anymore.
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Do I dare compare??

What do you compare? Neighbors yards, cars, jobs, kids, your body, your marriage, your life? The biggest question to ask is WHY? Why are we so hung-up on comparing  ourselves with other people, most people we don’t even know, and in most comparisons we are negatively cutting ourselves down mentally and spiritually. When we compare ourselves we strip ourselves of Joy!
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You aren’t being fair to yourself when you compare. Lets begin with different areas of our lives, our career or success or lack of success. You may wonder how someone has succeeded farther than you, or has achieved more than you when you “clearly” are smarter. But are you? This other person has positive attitude, works hard, and enjoys the career…do you? Lets flip it, the person is a dip, barely gets by but manipulates others and has climb the ladder with deceit and lies…why would you continue to put energy in comparing yourself with this person. Your energy should be a positive one focusing on you and what you can do for your career, move up or move on. Stop worrying about what others are or aren’t doing, it takes your focus away on whats important…YOU!

A big comparison that us women make is as Mothers. We compare what other moms do and don’t do with their kids. STOP!! Our kids aren’t their kids and vice versa. So what if that mom goes to all the PTA meetings, so what if that mom puts their kids in multiple extra activities, so what if that mom is always running around and taking their kids to culture sites and events. Maybe their kids like it maybe their kids hate it and are miserable but they don’t care. Maybe that mom is miserable and crys herself to sleep every night.  We as mom’s need to stop comparing what other moms are doing and how other moms are acting. You should be focusing on your child and what makes them happy and what makes sense to your family. Its ok if you kid doesn’t do art work every weekend, its ok if you kid isn’t in sports. Ask yourself this, is my child happy? I’ve been guilty of this, thinking dang what did I do wrong? Maybe I should have read more to my son, maybe I should have dragged him to museums, maybe I should have traveled more with him. Well guess what I didn’t, and its ok. What I did do was raise a respectful member of society and I couldn’t be prouder. Does he like museums? NO! Does he like sports…well yes but he has chosen not to play. And that is whats important HE CHOSE. What I am trying to do is show him that he has choices and with those choices come responsibility and sometimes consequences. Every family is different and we should never compare ourselves to other mothers or fathers. They may expose their children to more activities and cultural places, but their kids could be miserable or complete brats and entitled individuals. So next time you doubt your choices as a parent remember that EVERY child is different, there is no HANDBOOK on parenting, and whats important is your child is happy.

BODY SHAMING!! We all do it…STOP!! This is a big comparison what we do. I should be this, I should be that. We were not all created to be the same, so why are we striving to be like the person next to us? Health and exercise is very important but not everyone is made to be an athlete, bodybuilder or pilates queen. So many elements affect our bodies, its ok to not be the thinnest, the strongest, the most flexible. Don’t compare yourself to someone who 1. who works out 5-6 days a week, they haven’t always been that way, 2. someone who has a different life than you. Yes we all have the same 24 hours in a day, yes we choose whats important to us and our priorities, NO they are not better than us if we don’t follow their lifestyle. Stop comparing, because you never know whats going on behind closed doors, whats going on in their heads. Heck they could be jealous of you!! This is a perfect time to write down 3 positive things about you every morning, or schedule yourself a boudoir photo shoot, do something to boost your self-esteem. Be proud of the body you have, if you don’t like certain things than change them…for you and nobody else!  I have rolls, cellulite, extra bounce in my step and extra bubble in my butt. I have my moments of body shaming, I should be this, I should be that. I need to focus, if she can I can…but you know what its OK!! I’m doing what I can for me and my life. I’m taking little steps to get to where I’m comfortable. At the same time I can’t and shouldn’t complain about my body IF I’M NOT WILLING TO WORK AT CHANGING IT! Lets be real, neither can you. How can you complain if you aren’t doing ANYTHING to change? All you are doing is adding negativity to your life. The only person you should be comparing your self to is the you of yesterday! Stop trying to do it all at once too, that will only lead to disappointment. Make changes small, focus on one thing at a time. If you need help or suggestions I am here for you. My first step is my nutrition, I’ve cut out sugar, fast food, processed foods and late night snacking. Once I have completed that goal (minimum 30 days) I will move on to the next and incorporate a workout 3 days a week, same time and same days each week. Again I will do what fits my life style, not what someone else is  doing. I do suggest getting a professional trainer so you can learn the best exercises for your body and your goals! DON’T FOLLOW WHAT YOUR FRIEND IS DOING…they are not you!
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Love who you are, love where you are. WE all have flaws, bumps and bruises, scars and pasts! Be proud of your body and where its been and what it’s carried you through. Love your body and do whats best for you!  Stop comparing yourself to yesteryear, to magazines, to Instagrams and especially filtered fake photos!! And most important if someone makes you feel ashamed for your body THEY ARE NO GOOD FOR YOU and you need to delete them from your life.
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Relationships….ooohhh another big one where we compare…STOP!! Stop comparing your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend to others. No two relationships are the same, nobody is perfect and no relationship is perfect. What people post or choose to share isn’t the whole truth. Again another example of you don’t know what is going on behind closed doors.  If you don’t stray from your wants and needs in a partner then you wont need to compare or be miserable in your relationship. We look outside at others and compare and are jealous because there is something missing in ours. Relationships take two, two people who want to make it work and two people to keep it going, but it only takes one to destroy it. Don’t settle, if you feel you have, try to do what you can to fix it. But don’t ever feel ashamed or feel you failed if you need to end the relationship. I personally decided to divorce because I truly knew I wasn’t in a healthy relationship, my ex husband wasn’t supportive of me, he body shamed me, verbally cut me down, did nothing for this family positively. Yeah he worked but that’s it. I truly knew I needed more and I deserved better. I was seeing other healthy marriages, and that’s when I “woke-up” I knew deep down I was not going to be able to fix this and I needed to make a change for my health and for my son. 5 months later my body, my heart physically let me know the damage I had endured over the last 3 years and that was the scariest and most eye-opening experience I have ever had. Today I am finally true to me, I truly love me and I will not settle or compromise my wants and needs. I have learned and I have grown, I love myself more and I WILL NEVER SETTLE AGAIN!
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Although it is easier said than done, not comparing, it is something that you can work on. Be happy with you, want a change than change it. Stop comparing your life to others in a negative way. Stop comparing your significant other, stop comparing your kids, be thankful for what you have. Instead of comparing with everyone and anyone, choose people who inspire you instead. Your life is your life and nobody elses. You are a good person, you are a good parent, you are GOOD!

I’m hoping this blog will help someone, this blog is a little more personal and doesn’t really have any funny parts. Comparing ourselves to others is something I see a lot, and I want people to realize how unhealthy it is. And there’s a difference from comparing someone and admiring someone. When you compare you are cutting yourself down, when you admire you are feeding positivity and making positive changes in your life.
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Its OK to say NO

Ahhh the word NO…so easy to say and spell yet so hard to do! How many have this problem? Wether it comes to your kids, spouse, friend and or work?

I’ve slowly started learning what NO means and how it is OK to say it. Is not always a negative thing, it can actually save your life, your health, your relationship, your stress.

Repeat after me…thank you but NO….thank you but NO…thank you but NO

When it comes to kids, that’s kinda easy we say no to things that will hurt them, too much sugar, bad influences etc, but what about to friends, loved ones, your boss…how easy is it for you to say NO?
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Saying NO should never make you feel guilty or selfish. Saying NO should show others that you are in control of your life. We as women, especially mothers we tend to forget to say no because we focus on our family’s, how we can help, provide and take care of. When saying NO could be the best thing for them, and you.

 

Lets start with friends, you will have friends that come and go, and you will have friends you love but know that being around them isn’t what your life and your mental health needs; so saying NO I can’t and don’t want to hang out is OK. Don’t feel bad, if you need explain why… i.e. your behavior isn’t something I want to be around, I love you and will be here for you when you need me but I can’t hangout with you. Just like we tell our kids, you are who you associate with. If they are truly your friend they will understand and hopefully make plans with you that is suitable for you and them.friends
Your work, you boss will continue to ask you to go above and beyond as long as you let them. and if it’s not leading to a higher pay or position then it’s not benefiting you or your family in any way. You need to have boundaries even with your employer. “I wish I could, but I am going to have to say NO because…” Make sure you boss understands why, don’t just say NO and walk away that = FIRED! At the same time know what truly is expected of you, when your review is and document how and when you went above and beyond. If you can’t say NO, make sure all your YES’S benefit you! 740ae0af399a4bde1f93759f4bf9db7e
AHHH your spouse, significant other…how do you say NO? And I’m not just talking sexually…I’m talking when your spouse asks so much of you, you start to get taken advantage of. Relationships aren’t 50/50, but it should be 100/100. When you start to feel you never say NO, and they always say NO or I CAN’T etc…then your boundaries have been crossed and you aren’t being respected. Respect = Love and your partner should respect your boundries.
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We all need boundaries, and there are people who will push your boundaries but you need to stand tall and firm. This is your wellbeing, your health and personally speaking…your stress…and stress CAN DO HARM IF NOT KILL!!  There is a great book to help you in finding your boundries, where they come from and why you may not have any. I HIGHLY recommend this book!
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your By: Henry Cloud

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So remember it’s OK to say NO and it’s not selfish or mean. Its taking your life back and controlling what and who comes into your life. boundaries make us who we are, you need to find yourself again, I needed to find myself again. I will not feel guilty or selfish for telling someone NO. Its respect for yourself and if your loved ones, friends, boss have respect for you they will understand your NO!!

Repeat after me…its OK to say NO! ITS OK TO SAY NO!! ITS OK TO SAY NO!!

To end the blog, heres a little something fun..fun ways to say NO…from Justin Musk31176f5088a019463756261b7432c51f

Dating after a divorce

Is HORRIBLE!! Haaa haaa ok maybe not that bad, but at my age I hate dating, the games, the questions, the doubt. Dating is one of those necessary evils. So how do we handle it, with all the crazy dating apps and just plain crazy out there? Here’s what I’ve done, and yep there’s some comical parts but it helped me get to where I’m at today. 

I’m sure a lot has to do with our age, how long we were married, why we divorced and if there are kids involved. But I’m going to write about my point of view, 42 years old, second divorce, was married 4 years and we have no kids together. 

As an independent woman I hear all the time “you don’t need a man” or I hear “you’re so beautiful why are you single” Single girls like hearing that as much as newlyweds like hearing “when are you going by to have a baby” For me, yes I need a man, I’m human, I’m a woman and I enjoy companionship and being loved and adored. Completely different then needing a man to pay my way. As far as the “you’re so beautiful…I have no answer lol. I’ve been told I’m intimidating to guys and I don’t get hit on in fear of rejection 🙄. Blah blah blah 

Ok let’s get done to my thoughts on dating. I hate it, I really do. At 42 how do I date, I’ve never been one to date multiple guys at once; trust me I tried and it’s exhausting. I don’t have a ton of free time and trying to juggle not just conversations but first dates as well, no thank you. Dating apps what the heck happened there!!! People have lost their mind. Yep I was on Plenty of Fish, Tinder and Bumble. I had a couple nice first dates, but mainly crazy dick pick, titty wanting creeps!! Who are the women showing these guys their boobs to where it’s acceptable to ask on the first conversation!! WOMEN STOP DEGRADING YOURSELF FOR A DATE!!!!  Hey I’m not saying we don’t like attention or someone to make us feel beautiful but come on ladies have some self respect!! So needless to say dating sites are not for me. So now where…

Dating after a divorce, for me I wasn’t crushed by my divorce, I still believe in love ever after, however my divorce did leave me with big trust issues. My ideas changed, priorities have changed and what I want in my partner. I’d like to say it’s easy to not fall back to the same pattern but it’s hard. My typical guy…the “hot bod, chiseled features, bad boy let’s have some crazy fun” Well tried that numerous times and it never works out. Ended in heartache, headache and disappointment. At this age it’s time to reevaluate what’s important.

So I have a lists of wants, needs and must haves in a man. I’ve gone on dates with guys who are perfect on paper but when I met them…nothing 😕. I seriously thought I was broken. Then I stopped being hard on myself and realized there’s nothing wrong with my expectations. There should be a connection, and it shouldn’t be forced. And I believe you can tell on the first date. So I kept moving on. I finally had a first date that well couldn’t have been better, we talked and walked and got caught in the rain LOL. There was a connection and I truly wanted to see this guy again, learn about him more, compare stories, laugh and see what happens. I realized I’m not broken! 😁 I have no idea where this going to go, I’m just taking it day by day. I’m going out of my comfort zone by letting it flow naturally, no questions, no doubt. 

My priorities when I was in my 20’s 1. Be hot 2. Like to party 3. No future. 

My priorities when I was in my 30’s 1. Must like kids 2. Must like animals 3. Be hot 4. Be funny 5. Is there a future?

My priorities now in my 40’s 1. Can I trust you 2. Must like kids and pets  3. Genuine 4. Make me laugh 5. Respectful 6. Impress my head and heart 7. Is there a future? 

See dating now isn’t just for free meals or a fun night. It’s do I see this person in my life long term. Will they have the qualities I’m needing in a partner, can they handle my moods, my goofiness, my needs? I know what I can give in a relationship and I have always been pretty open about it. My problem is I would allow my standards to change and mold to the guy instead of fining a guy who is my standard. 

Now after Divorce #2 I am learning to stay strong in who I am, what I like and I’m finding myself again. Realizing I let myself go for a guy because I needed him to accept me. Now I know I need a guy who accepts me for me, all of me the good and the bad. I want to grow with someone not change for someone. 

I’m not afraid of love, I’m a hopeless romantic! So ladies don’t loose yourself, don’t give up on love. It’s there, but stay true to you, your values, morals and self respect! There’s nothing wrong with wanting a relationship just don’t force it. It is true you need to be comfortable in your skin, comfortable alone and you have to love yourself first. You can still be independent and want a partner, someone to grow old with, someone to balance you, someone to love you unconditionally, BUT NEVER SETTLE!! 

It’s ok to move on

Moving on can be the scariest and most rewarding thing you can do…you could be finding yourself at a crossroads unsure of what to do. The change that needs to happen in your life could be small or big either way it can be scary. First you have to know its OK to make changes for you, and not worry about what others with think or feel. You have to make your life yours, not anyone elses. This seems to be especially hard for moms and wives, we tend to things and conduct our lives for everyone else but ourselves. Now I’m not saying to ignore the important people in your life, but if you don’t do what makes you happy the negative will flow into every aspect of your life…job, home, friends and relationships.

One thing that has taken me 40 years to learn its to STOP WORRYING WHAT OTHERS WILL THINK OF ME. Some of my choices will make others unhappy even angry, but their actions are their responsibility not mine. I have made many choices for my life that ultimately resulted in loss of friends and even blood family members. Even though these changes didn’t affect them directly, they felt I should do what they want, say what they would say and when I finally decided to put me first their true colors came shining through. Now not all choices I have made are good ones, but if people love you they will stand by your side no matter what your decision even if they disagree with them.

I do believe that in any choice you make you should consider how it will affect the people closest to you, that’s just common curtosy…but other people should not be your final decision. Follow your heart, follow your gut, your path is your path and nobody elses.

So as I type this I am making a decision to move on, this change comes in my career. I have decided to move into the medical field. Taking the leap of faith and choosing a path that will giving me the opportunity to do more for my life and no body else. Where the position and pay is a step back, its setting me up for bigger and better things. I know God will provide for me as I continue this journey and that I need to remember not to stress about the small things.

My time in the fitness industry has been eye-opening and a blessing, the people I have met have shaped my life for the better. It opened my eyes up to how love should be and how supportive people can be and its also shown me how shallow people are and self-absorbed. With it all I am leaving the industry with a smile on my face and a confidence that I know I gave my all. I have made great friends and have made well some enemies too but I’m ok with that, something I wasn’t ok with in the past.

Moving on…its a great feeling. Moving on…is necessary in life to better yourself. Moving on to the next chapter of life. Not everyone has the same chapter, don’t compare your life to others, their experiences to yours, keep your eye on you and what makes you happy. You may have to take a step back to move forward, don’t hesitate…do it! JUMP!!

Moving on to bigger and better!!

40 Things to do after 40

This is a list that I started for myself, starting my life over at 42 and single. Some I have already done but will do again, most are new for me and will take me out of my comfort zone and that is the point to all this. This list is my “Growth List” as I have a separate “Bucket List”. You can add/change the list to fit you, and you don’t have to wait to be 40 to start this list! This isn’t just for single women but all woman, be proud of who you are, never forget to take care of yourself! Green=I’ve completed as of today, but will most likely do again 🙂 Some of these items you don’t have to do alone, go with friends, significant other if you have one, or your kids. But do it for yourself first! IMG_2212-480x272

  1. New Bedroom Set Start Fresh, bedding, furniture, decorations. What ever you need to make it feel new to you.
  2. Learn Your Body sexually if you don’t already. We as women need to feel comfortable in our bodies. If you don’t know where to start find a Pure Romance consultant (I know a great one) if you already know your body…buy all new toys, time to start new and fresh
  3. Learn something new, learn a new language, craft…your choice
  4. Purge, clean out those closets, get rid of old and negative clutter
  5. Complement Yourself Every Morning For 30 Days Write Them Down
  6. Write Down Three Great Things That Happened To You Each Day
  7. Be Bold, stop worrying what others will think of you, or worrying about being rejected
  8. Take A Selfie With No Make Up
  9. Read a book series, find a category that is entertaining for you then set aside time each day to read.
  10. Hire Somebody To Help You Do Something That You Know You Don’t Want To Do, its OK to get help. Hire a housekeeper, someone to pick up dog poop, someone to meal prep for you, even if it’s just once. You will still be Wonder Woman even if you have help 😉
  11. Enjoy Your Dinner Out Alone, you can make it a simple restaurant or go even bolder and dress up and go to a fancy restaurant, shoulders back head held high! Be proud
  12. Stay In Bed All Day, yes we deserve this every once in a while.
  13. Get healthy, if you aren’t yet…Fitness it doesn’t have to be extreme but this something that you need to do at least four times a week, yoga, running, hiking etc.
  14. Take some boudoir photos. Feel sexy in yourself, find a professional and pose away!!
  15. Volunteer anywhere you have a passion
  16. Give Yourself A Day Of Pampering, mani, pedi, facial, massage…
  17. Go Out On A Date With A Younger Guy lol this help boost that self-esteem (ok this I probably wont do again LOL)
  18. Take A Class, art class, cooking class, a class to help your career
  19. Change Your Hair, don’t be afraid. Its only hair and if you don’t like it you can change it back. HOWEVER always go to a professional.
  20. Pick One Fear And Conquer It, I have a few but one is heights so I will be going sky diving!
  21. Move doesn’t have to be right away, even if it’s moving it to a different neighborhood, city or even bolder a state
  22. Change Careers, if that’s an option for you. As of today that is an option!
  23. Make Dinner For Friends
  24. Go On Vacation, true vacation not just a weekend somewhere. Even if you have to plan it months in advance. Do it…and don’t be afraid to go alone. I leave 7/12/17
  25. Go To A Concert
  26. Take Day Trips
  27. Dance In The Rain
  28. Play In The Sprinklers; you see all the public grass areas with sprinklers, pull the car over and have fun!!
  29. Learn to change a tire, check oil and fluids in your car. All women should know how to do this.
  30. Help a stranger, could be as simple as helping them with their groceries,
  31. Get a tattoo, big or small but have heartfelt meaning behind it
  32. Go a museum, I know there are a few here in Phoenix I have never been to
  33. Karaoke, this one will be hard for me as I’m not a fan BUT again getting out of my comfort zone
  34. Ride a roller coaster
  35. Go to a comedy show
  36. Take a walk on the beach
  37. Take a painting class
  38. Go fishing
  39. Go camping; sleeping under the stars is amazing!
  40. Forgive, what ever or whoever is holding you down in your heart. You don’t have to physically see them or talk to them but write it down as if you were. Let it go, release the pain and negativity and let the love and light flow within you.

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My journey back home

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6:30am So I decided to start this journey going back home, a small town where I grew up. Where events and people shaped me as a human. Going to go and appreciate all the wonders of the town that I truly didn’t appreciate when I was a kid. Going to relax and reflect. Going to head out here in a couple hours…I’m excited for what’s to come!

9:00am I finally it the road heading north to my home town. The drive shorter than I remembered, easy with minimal traffic. Saw the tower in Mayor that I use to think was for Rapunzel. Made my way through Prescott Valley, man this town has grown. As I roll into Prescott I stop at a little duplex I lived in while in elementary school.  I remember the closet that separated my room from my moms, that I could walk through and go from bedroom to bedroom. The home where our dog Megan that had her huge liter of puppies, where I tried to bake a cake for my mom and used the measuring cup out of the laundry soap…Yes the cake tasted like soap! Where we had our first microwave, and my mom surprised me one Christmas with my first cabbage patch doll.  This was a time where we could be home alone, when my mom worked nights she made sure I was safe and in bed by having he cops drive by, she worked dispatch for the Prescott Police Department. And of course this is the house where I saw MTV for the first time. 

I then drove by the house I lived in during high school.  Ahhh high school how I don’t miss you at all, not to say there weren’t some good times in the halls but for me these were not the best 4 years of my life. This is the house where I had my first boyfriend who yes was older than me and who my mom HATED! The house I tried to sneak out of my bedroom window into the back alley to yep, meet that boyfriend…yes I got caught; the house I threw my first house party and you guessed it, I got caught. The first house I came home late drunk and high, seeing all the light were out so my mom was still out at Matt’s Saloon…NOPE she was in side waiting for me LOL!!  The house is so much smaller than I remember, and so ruined down. Its been 26 years since I lived in this house, although there are times it feels like yesterday. 

Speaking of high school…had to pull in and sit, as I was sitting tears started flowing and just had to let it all out. So many people remember high school, all the details, the teachers, etc…I really don’t remember much. I know I didn’t do much, but I believe I also blocked out a lot on purpose for my wellbeing. I do remember I didn’t have any self confidence, didn’t have pride in myself. OH I could fake it, but deep down I was a mess. Sitting at this high school was a blessing in many ways. It showed me that I can over come, that I don’t have to live in the past and that I will always continue to grow as a person, needless to say I didn’t have a great high school experience.

Ahh the good ol’ YMCA my home away from home when I was a kid, after school and summer! Having a crush on a lifeguard named CHIP!

The baseball field where I played T-ball and softball! Hit my first home run here! GO RED HOTS!! I was even featured in the local paper. 

And of course my first elementary school when we moved here in 82 Miller Valley! Angie was my first friend and we are still friends today! I went to many elementary schools thought-out Prescott, but this is my first…I have good memories of this school. If I remember correctly after Miller Valley I went to Lincoln, and then Dexter, before heading off to Granite Mountain Junior High…

It’s a little after 12noon and I’m sitting and enjoying the weather at the court-house square and taking in what is my home town, the good and the bad. Remembering the past as it shaped me. The ups, the downs, the struggles, the disappointments, the growth. Appreciating the simpler times but never regretting leaving and exploring life. People tell me all the time “oh how wonderful it must have been to grow up in Prescott” like it’s some magical town LOL, well for me it was great as a little kid but in my teen years it was a struggle. I always had an itch to leave and see what was out in the world. 25 years later I may not have seen the world yet, I definitely have seen enough to create the woman I am today. This journey to my home town was what I needed, and I do plan to go back and share even more. My past wounds have healed and I look forward to making new memories in my hometown!!

Well my day couldn’t have ended better. Had a wonderful conversation with a new old friend 😉 and I’m looking forward to getting to know more. We walked, talked and got caught in the rain and continued to enjoy each others company. It was nice and refreshing. Headed back home with a smile and a sense of peace. 

On to the next journey…5 days with my son in San Francisco, visiting with a friend who I’ve never met in person and checking more off my Growth List!